Bill Clinton would have the challenge of being our first First Gentleman, while Trump’s sons would have a tough act to follow.
Two Presidential candidates, two very different degrees of masculinity in the White House.
A Hillary Clinton win would make history, but having two Presidents Clinton in the White House adds even more to the intrigue. While the rest of the country speculates on Bill’s potential title—First Gentleman? Earl of Arkansas? Plain ol’ No. 42?—Washingtonians will be getting used to watching him standing silently next to the President, perfecting his lovingly subservient gaze.
Of course, politicos assume Clinton 1.0 will be hard at work on policy, but if Hillary famously declined to stay at home and bake cookies, isn’t it conversely Bill’s right to stay at home and preheat the oven?
Like Jackie O., he could redecorate the Roosevelt Room, taking it in a different direction as the White House’s first Man Cave. It would be classy, of course—think leather accents, a comprehensive library of buddy films, and a saxophone stand.
But while Bill is only competing with himself, Trump’s gang of guys, Donald Trump Jr., Eric, and Barron, would have the opposite problem as White House first timers: Wouldn’t we be constantly comparing them to Sasha and Malia Obama? The girls navigated public puberty with grace, coordinating their coat color palettes for every turkey pardoning.
Fortunately, the Trump boys already have a signature look, with their Gordon Gecko slicked-back hair. And there’s no reason to doubt they’re every bit as well-suited to interior design as Bill. We can expect all those distinguished portraits of heads of state to be replaced with the heads of big game they’ve hunted. And they’ve got credibility. With their experience as advisers on The Apprentice, Donald Jr. and Eric could liven things up with such original fund-raising ideas as a White House Lawn lemonade stand (run by little Barron!) or a hot-dog-selling competition.
So which will it be: Earl of Arkansas or Trump fraternity? The vote’s on us.
PhotograPhy by andrea IzzottI/ShutterStock (WhIte houSe); JuStIn SullIvan/ getty ImageS (clInton); Ida mae aStute/abc vIa getty ImageS (erIc trumP); bIll clark/cQ roll call (donald trumP Jr.); chIP SomodevIlla/getty ImageS (barron trumP)